Missy 'Fragrant' - A Lesson Learnt

♪-♬♪-♬♪-♫-♫- Jadoo Teri Nazar...

Khushboo Tera Badan....♫-♫-♫

Loverboy Level: SRK
(Image: Google)

Ahh! The beautiful, BEAUTYful reverie, envisioning yourself in the King's niche, playing Madhuri's Rahul or The 'Miss World''s Devdas. Amazing isn't it?
Well, there's more to it than meets the eye.

To start with, let's keep in mind that there's only one SRK - the Man himself. However, he, somehow, has automatically set the stage for a few self-appointed monarchs of romance, all over the place. Okay, not a few, countless. And it's about time I stopped patronizing my own behavioural brothers. I mean, seriously, how can you not try & emulate those moves if you spot even the slightest odds in your favour? Sorry, Dad, now you know the real reason I signed up for weekend acting classes.

The girl-boy ratio in the academy was funereal. My group was a bore, and the lessons, worse. Just as it was beginning to look like another feather to add to my well-endowed hat of squandered startups, the COO announced the programme for "Jashnn" - a theatrical fest involving budding actors and some 'stellar' graduates from the academy. A string of plays had been lined up to be staged, six weeks away. My incentive: The newly famed diva of regional television, who, opportunely for me, had obliged to play female lead in a soppy musical.
Five days and two rounds of auditions later, I'd been named in Her opposite role. Who says hard work doesn't pay off?!

Let's cut to the chase. Soon, in an unforeseen turn of events, I discovered that She stinks..Literally. It was a partner's nightmare! Unperceivable much? Legitimate, given the fact that TVs have never transmitted odour.


I had to pay the harshest penalty, thereon, since I had emerged as The Chosen One to play Her love interest. So, there I was, living 'a dream of thousands'. Little do the fans know of Madame's classy disinclination towards taking a bath every morning. I didn't either, until she spotted my instinctive grimace as I was pulling her close to practise the finishing scene of Act Two.
"Do I smell? Is it that bad?", she asked, at day's end. "Actually, the water's freezing.. Haven't been able to shower for a while now".

                     (Image: Google)

- Yes, Ma'am. You do, awfully. Please take one tomorrow!

I didn't know then, if being so blunt had been the proper way to behave, with a lady of elegance. But my concern was wiped away the next day, when she practically steamrolled over my hopes of attaining aromatic contentment.
"I couldn't do it. But relax. It won't be an issue anymore.. Chanel", she winked!

It Was. A BIG one.
If only Miss Coco had been insightful enough to release a requisite warning alongside her products; perhaps, stating that the perfumes cannot exempt a consumer from taking his/her daily bath, altogether! Because That, beyond the shadow of a doubt, is an absolute essential.

Subsequently, my misery was to continue.
But, as performers, we know that the show must go on.
Over our next few sessions, I came up with various ways to fend off any onslaught of the vile air on my olfactory nerves. Adding a nasal twang to my singing proved beneficial as I went about matching steps with her, and so did my newfound, personally devised techniques of rhythmic breathing. One final touch on my part, was taking longer showers everyday, just to keep my share of routine freshness maximized.

Our chemistry improved as well, her being a professional and me having made substantial progress in dealing with the smelly crisis. This was one close encounter I could just about manage to handle.

In the end, "Jashnn" turned out to be a huge success. Nevertheless, as the curtains came down on our stint with the audience roaring in applause, I knew what I was not gonna miss. All that glitters, is not gold.




-- My entry for IndiBlogger's "Close Encounters of the Smelly Kind" contest by Racold Thermo Ltd. For more details, visit https://www.facebook.com/racoldthermoltd.
Watch the smelly video, here: